The paperback edition of The Lizard of Oz, illustrated by Christin Couture, is available from Amazon.com. The version available on the Web (starting at http://www.samizdat.com/liz1.html )includes a few new chapters (in the Underworld) and some edits (Miss Prysby and Mr. Newman accompany the class to the Underworld). It is also available, with other stories by Richard Seltzer, on CD:
Everything
But the Internet gathers the complete non-Internet works
of Richard Seltzer on CD, in plain text, with software that lets you listen
as well as read. It includes: The Name of Hero, Ethiopia Through Russian
Eyes, The Lizard of Oz, Without a Myth, Spit and Polish, Mercy, Rights
Crossing, short stories, articles, book reviews, and poems.
Permission is granted to make and distribute electronic copies of these illustrations for non-commercial purposes, provided the work is attributed to Christin Couture, the source is cited, and the copyright notice and this permission notice are preserved on all copies. All other rights reserved. To correspond with the author, send email to: seltzer@samizdat.com
If you are interested in badges (2-1/2" diameter) with these illustrations, see below.
Mrs. O'Rourke and Mr. Shermin
Mr. Shermin knew most everything. He used to be a teacher, till he decided he wanted to be a fish, and then he knew how to make himself a fish, which not many people, even teachers, know how to do.
The Humdrum Humbug
"Yes," said Mr. Shermin, "it's the Humbug. He's been flying around beating on his humdrum and disenchanting everybody. I as afraid we'd start to hear him down here. It was just a matter of time."
The class from Winthrop, Massachusetts.
Left to right: Eugene, Kevin, Mark, Timmy, Linda Stacy, Donny, Kathy, Joey, Cindy (back), Linda Crotty (front), Peter, and Gaynell.
The Witch
And Mark asked, "Why are you sitting on a bucket? It looks awfully uncomfortable?"
"All the latest models come equipped with bucket seats: you don't have much choice."
Pot-bellied Pothead
For they were in the Land of Potheads. Everybody was walking around with flowerpots instead of heads. And since they couldn't see where they were going, they were tripping all the time.
One friendly-looking pothead, who had a potbelly as well, tripped right in front of them.
The Empty-Headed Pothead
...just then she saw an empty flowerpot-head; she could tell it was empty cause he was petalling an icicle and his head was low so he could go faster... the wheels were huge sunflowers.
Hard-boiled egghead
Omlet egghead
In Eggheadland... Some were cheery sunny-side-up eggs. Others were hard-boiled or soft-boiled or scarmbled. An omlet kept pacing back and forth, muttering to himself, "To be or not to be..."
Humpty Dumpty
And leaning against a wall there was what must have been the saddest egghead in the world. Sir Real explained, "That's Humpty-Dumpty. He's in the dumps right now. Really depressed. You see, he's in love with a wallflower, that light blue one right up there on top of the wall. He and she had been sitting up there for years, never paying any attention to each other, just watching people go by and reading good stories. Then one day, by accident, they got to talking, and Humpty fell for her, fell all the way down to the ground. And when he saw that he couldn't climb back up, he was all broken up about it. And there he's sat ever since. Even watching the Easter parade go by with all the King's horses and all the King's men couldn't cheer him up."
Sir Real
"Gosh," said Donny, "that must be the cereal, like the witch said. He's got a bowl of raisin bran instead of a head."
"The name is Sir Real. And that's raisin brain."
Mr. Francis Bacon, the librarian
"No mistake, no mistake at all. The library is the best place to get food for thought. Help yourself. We have a wide selection. Some books are to be tasted, others swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested."
So Eugene grabbed the first book in sight, ripped out a page and started chewing it. "Thhis doesn't taste much like food," he said.
"Barbarians! Absolute barbarians!" Mr. Bacon was sizzling with anger. "Didn't anyone ever teach you how to eat a book?"
Mack the Knife
And Donny asked, "This is the Underworld isn't it? Are you Achilles the Heel?"
"No, Mack the Knife. But what's this you know about the Underworld?"
The Red Coats and the little green VW
So off they went through the unmarked streets, with the redcoats running hopefully behind.
Prince Frog, before
Prince Frog, after
"I really don't know what I want to be. It's so good to be loved, at least I'm sure it must be; but then it's so comfortable being a frog. I think I'll go down to the river and croak."
Mr. Charon, the ferryboatman
"... I guess you'll need me to take you under."
"Under where?" asked Miss Morgan.
"Under the world, of course. I'm the undertaker... I've got to take you under the wworld so you can stand under it and understand it; that's my job; let's get on with it."
The Weatherman
"The Weatherman?" asked Miss Morgan.
"Yes," said Mr. Carroll. "He's under the weather right now. But then that's the only way to understand it."
Sir Ridesalot
The knights of were riding round and round on the merry-go-round horse. Mr. Carroll introduced them, "There's King Aruthur and Sir Percival and Sir Galahad and St. George and Sir Bedivere and Sir Tristram and Sir Kay and Sir Gareth and Sir Gawain and Sir Ridesalot and Sir Lancelot."
The Mothers of Fact
Mr. Carroll introduced them, "These are the Mothers of Fact: Miss Hap, Miss Fortune, and Miss Take."
Joan of Noah's Ark
Donny said, "It's a whale's mouth, and there's somebody inside."
"Oh," said Miss Prysby, "that must be Jonah."
"No," said the person in the whale. "My name is Joan, and this is the Ark. Haven't you ever heard of Joan of Noah's Ark?"
The Lizard of Oz
From the very top, off in the distance, across the green green fields of Ome, they saw the huge shape of the Great Dragon of Ome, the Lizard of Oz, the Leaping Lizard himself.
The Humbug
And the sound above them changed. It was still a drum, but it was a different beat, a wild dance beat; and the Humbug was one humdinger of a drummer.
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This site is published by B&R Samizdat Express, PO Box 320-161, West Roxbury, MA 02132-002. 617-469-2269 seltzer@samizdat.com
Everything
But the Internet gathers the complete non-Internet works
of Richard Seltzer on CD, in plain text, with software that lets you listen
as well as read. It includes: The Name of Hero, Ethiopia Through Russian
Eyes, The Lizard of Oz, Without a Myth, Spit and Polish, Mercy, Rights
Crossing, short stories, articles, book reviews, and poems.
What do Mark Twain, Nathaniel Hawthorne, Jack London, Edith Wharton, Walt
Whitman, and Zane have in common? Their works are all on the same American
Literature CD, with over 400 books, in plain text, and with
software that lets you listen as well as read.
What do Charles Dickens, Jane Austen, John Milton, William Shakespeare,
Daniel Defoe, Geoffrey Chaucer, and Joseph Conrad have in common? Their
works are all on the same British
Literature CD, with nearly 1000 books, in plain text and with
software that lets you listen as well as read.
Can we help you build an Internet business? Richard Seltzer is an independent Internet writer/speaker/consultant. Click here for details. or send email to seltzer@samizdat.com
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