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When an elementary class sets out on a quest to save the world from disenchantment, their adventures reveal paradoxes of the human mind and ways of awakening the magic within us.
This is a new, expanded version of the underground classic, originally published in 1974. This edition, which includes new episodes and changes throughout, is now available on CD ROM for $19, with other stories by Richard, and with voice narration in addition to the text. (You need the RealPlayer to hear it). We're experimenting in various ways trying to determine if publishing books on CD ROM, instead of on paper, can work well both for writers and readers. Please check our online store at http://store.yahoo.com/samizdat You can also still buy the paperback first edition (with illustrations by Christin Couture) there.
Five children's
books by Richard Seltzer: The Lizard of Oz (illustrated by Christin
Couture), Now and Then and Other Tales from Ome (illustrated by Richard
Seltzer), See You Later, Elevator, Hundreds and Hundreds of Gerbils, and
Tiger in the Intercom. All are presented in both HTML text and audio form
(read by the author). Review of this book CD http://www.largeprintreviews.com/lizard.html
The
Lizard of Oz by Richard Seltzer. When an elementary class sets
out on a quest to save the world from disenchantment, their adventures
reveal paradoxes of the human mind and ways of awakening the magic within
us.
Library Journal -- "An intriguing and very entertaining little novel."
Paperback. Autographed on request.
Everything
But the Internet gathers the complete non-Internet
works of Richard Seltzer on CD, in plain text, with software that lets
you listen as well as read. It includes: The Name of Hero, Ethiopia Through
Russian Eyes, The Lizard of Oz, Without a Myth, Spit and Polish, Mercy,
Rights Crossing, short stories, articles, book reviews, and poems.
Would you rather read it on your palm? For $5 you can buy an 84K zipped
file with the full text at PalmGear 
To read that file you'll need iSilo (software available for from www.isilo.com)
Also please visit our Readers' Corner and Writers' Showcase page at www.samizdat.com/readers.html
To see the illustrations by Christin Couture, click here. Badges with these illustrations can be made on demand (using Badge-a-Minit). These 2-1/2" diameter badges, made from black and white line drawings, sell for $1 each plus $1 per order for shipping (first class mail). To order, send email to seltzer@samizdat.com
Soon the VW fell into another deep dark pothole.
"Man, this is some trip," said the empty-headed pothead as he clung to the roof of the VW.
"Hey, there's the witch again!" shouted Donny.
"Wow! What a broomstick," said Mark. "Look at that thing go."
"Please, Miss Witch, please," pleaded Miss Morgan, as the witch whizzed past, "please stop and tell us ..."
The witch called back, just before she faded from sight,
"For a real meal
see Sir Real;
then egghead south
to the mouth
of the Nile
and find the tooth
the whole tooth
and nothing but the tooth
for smiles and smiles
till suffer-time."
"Well," said Miss Prysby, "maybe we'll finally get something to eat. It seems like we've been on the road forever. I could use a 'real meal.'"
"Oh, I do wish she'd explain herself," said Miss Morgan.
"Quick, do as she said," urged Mr. Shermin. "Don't wait around. Hit the gas, or we'll miss the intersection."
Miss Morgan hit the gas, then right away, she hit the brakes, and the car stalled. Somebody was standing in the middle of the road.
"Gosh," said Donny, "that must be the cereal, like the Witch said. He's got a bowl of raisin bran instead of a head."
"The name is Sir Real," said the man. "And that's not ordinary cereal up there -- that's raisin brain."
"Certainly, sir, certainly," said Miss Prysby. "Donny didn't mean to insult you. He just sees things the way they are; I mean, the way he's used to seeing them. He's got a lot to learn. We all have a lot to learn. But could you please tell us where we could find a restaurant? You see, we're going to Oz and Ome, and it's rather a long trip, and we're all very hungry."
"Well," answered Sir Real, "you can get plenty of food for thought in the library, just on the other side of the block."
"What block?" asked Donny. "I don't see any block."
"Naturally, it's a mental block. Just do as I say, and we'll be there in a minute."
So Sir Real climbed on top of the VW, next to the Empty-Headed Pothead, and Miss Morgan hit the gas.
"Welcome aboard, mister," said the Pothead.
"The name is 'Sir Real,' son."
"Yes, siree, this is some trip."
"I don't believe I caught your name, son."
"I don't believe I have one."
"No name?"
"People call me 'Empty' because of my empty flowerpothead. But that's just till I find something worth putting in it."
"A commendable ambition, I'm sure," said Sir Real, somewhat put off that he had to sit next to such a crude character. "Miss," he called to Miss Morgan. "Speed it up, please. It's not far at all. Just left, then left again, right, left, right, up, down, around, and we'll be there in no time."
"Excuse me, Mr. Real," she asked, "what was that again?"
"That's 'Sir,' miss, 'Sir Real.'"
"Yeah, man," said Empty, "that's Sir Real all right."
"You're doing just fine, miss. Just another left, right, up, down, around."
"But that's impossible," said Miss Morgan.
"Of course, miss. How could it be a mental block if it didn't
seem impossible?"
Chapter 6
Illustrations from
The Lizard of Oz
Links to the
rest of The Lizard of Oz and related materials
To correspond with the author, send email to seltzer@samizdat.com
Five children's
books by Richard Seltzer: The Lizard of Oz (illustrated by Christin
Couture), Now and Then and Other Tales from Ome (illustrated by Richard
Seltzer), See You Later, Elevator, Hundreds and Hundreds of Gerbils, and
Tiger in the Intercom. All are presented in both HTML text and audio form
(read by the author). Review of this book CD http://www.largeprintreviews.com/lizard.html
The
Lizard of Oz by Richard Seltzer. When an elementary class sets
out on a quest to save the world from disenchantment, their adventures
reveal paradoxes of the human mind and ways of awakening the magic within
us.
Library Journal -- "An intriguing and very entertaining little novel."
Paperback. Autographed on request.
Everything
But the Internet gathers the complete non-Internet
works of Richard Seltzer on CD, in plain text, with software that lets
you listen as well as read. It includes: The Name of Hero, Ethiopia Through
Russian Eyes, The Lizard of Oz, Without a Myth, Spit and Polish, Mercy,
Rights Crossing, short stories, articles, book reviews, and poems.
A
library for the price of a book.
Readers' Room and Writers'
Showcase
Return to B&R Samizdat Express.
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