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When an elementary class sets out on a quest to save the world from disenchantment, their adventures reveal paradoxes of the human mind and ways of awakening the magic within us.
This is a new, expanded version of the underground classic, originally published in 1974. This edition, which includes new episodes and changes throughout, is now available on CD ROM for $19, with other stories by Richard, and with voice narration in addition to the text. (You need the RealPlayer to hear it). We're experimenting in various ways trying to determine if publishing books on CD ROM, instead of on paper, can work well both for writers and readers. Please check our online store at http://store.yahoo.com/samizdat You can also still buy the paperback first edition (with illustrations by Christin Couture) there.
Five children's
books by Richard Seltzer: The Lizard of Oz (illustrated by Christin
Couture), Now and Then and Other Tales from Ome (illustrated by Richard
Seltzer), See You Later, Elevator, Hundreds and Hundreds of Gerbils, and
Tiger in the Intercom. All are presented in both HTML text and audio form
(read by the author). Review of this book CD http://www.largeprintreviews.com/lizard.html
The
Lizard of Oz by Richard Seltzer. When an elementary class sets
out on a quest to save the world from disenchantment, their adventures
reveal paradoxes of the human mind and ways of awakening the magic within
us.
Library Journal -- "An intriguing and very entertaining little novel."
Paperback. Autographed on request.
Everything
But the Internet gathers the complete non-Internet
works of Richard Seltzer on CD, in plain text, with software that lets
you listen as well as read. It includes: The Name of Hero, Ethiopia Through
Russian Eyes, The Lizard of Oz, Without a Myth, Spit and Polish, Mercy,
Rights Crossing, short stories, articles, book reviews, and poems.
Would you rather read it on your palm? For $5 you can buy an 84K zipped
file with the full text at PalmGear 
To read that file you'll need iSilo (software available for from www.isilo.com)
Also please visit our Readers' Corner and Writers' Showcase page at www.samizdat.com/readers.html
To see the illustrations by Christin Couture, click here. Badges with these illustrations can be made on demand (using Badge-a-Minit). These 2-1/2" diameter badges, made from black and white line drawings, sell for $1 each plus $1 per order for shipping (first class mail). To order, send email to seltzer@samizdat.com
Suddenly, there was light. Eugene and Mark and Miss Prysby groaned because they were on the bottom again. Cindy screamed because the water had spilled out of the fishbowl; and Kathy shrieked because she was soaking wet and Mr. Shermin and Mrs. O'Rourke were squirming all over her belly.
"Help!" hollered Mrs. O'Rourke.
"What's going on?" asked Gaynell, wiping water from her face.
"Gosh," said Donny, "look at all the funny people."
"I don't know who you're talking about, Donny. I can't see from here. But whoever they are, you shouldn't make fun of them," Miss Prysby corrected him. "You shouldn't make fun of anyone."
"But it looks like a bunch of flowerpots walking around," he answered.
"Really?" asked Timmy.
Kathy and Gaynell giggled.
Miss Morgan asked, "Where are we, Mr. Shermin? You got us here. Can you explain what's going on?"
"Well, if I don't miss my guess, this must be Pothead Land. Here, everybody has flowerpots instead of heads; and since they can't see where they're going, they're tripping all the time ..."
"What's that one?" asked Gaynell, pulling herself up to the window.
"That's a cute little pot-bellied pothead," said Kathy. "He just tripped. I hope he didn't hurt himself."
"Gosh, he's covered with mud," Donny said.
"We're down to earth people," replied the Pothead, as he tried to get back on his feet. "Earthenware is our natural dress. That and wonderwhere."
"Wonderwhere?"
"Yes, I wonder where my head's at."
"Oh, there's a water fountain," said Miss Morgan, opening the door and letting everyone out. "We'd better fill up the fishbowl for Mr. Shermin and Mrs. O'Rourke."
As they walked over to the fountain, Miss Prysby read the sign, "'Potable water.' 'Potable.' That's a good long word for you to learn today. It means it's clean enough to drink and clean enough for Mr. Shermin and Mrs. O'Rourke."
So Cindy, who was carrying the fishbowl, stepped up to the fountain.
"Not so fast," said the Pot-bellied Pothead. "That's a potable water fountain."
"Yes, I know," said Cindy, and she smiled; and Miss Prysby smiled, too, because Cindy learned the lesson. But when Cindy went to fill the fishbowl, the water wouldn't go in; it just splashed all over her till she was nearly as wet as Kathy.
"I told you so. That's a potable water fountain. It'll only pour water into pots."
"Well, what can we do?" asked Miss Morgan.
"You'll just have to find somebody empty-headed enough to help."
"But..."
"Wow!" Mark interrupted.
"Gosh," asked Donny, "what's this one?"
"Yes, what is it, Mr. Shermin?" asked Miss Morgan, staring in disbelief.
"Quite clearly, that's an empty-headed pothead. Can't you see? He's petaling an icicle, and his head's low so he can go faster."
"Petaling an icicle?" asked Miss Morgan.
"Yes, of course. Can't you see? He's sitting on an icicle, and the wheels are huge sunflowers."
"Mister, why doesn't the icicle melt?" asked Mark.
"It's cool, man, cool."
"How do you get it to go so fast?"
"That's flower-power, man, real flower-power."
"Pardon me, sir," asked Miss Morgan, "I noticed that your head, I mean, you pot was empty, and..."
"Yes, it's empty. And don't go making fun of it either. Some of these guys'll put anything in their head just to have something there; but I've been waiting till I find something worth putting in."
"Well, if it wouldn't inconvenience you, we'd greatly appreciate it if you'd help us fill our fishbowl."
"Fishbowl? You mean to say fish are drowning because they don't have any water to breathe? Why didn't you say so?"
In a minute, Mr. Shermin and Mrs. O'Rourke were breathing freely in a bowl full of fresh, clean water.
Gaynell recited,
"You'll get ahead if you get a head
so go straight ahead
and get an empty head that's gone to pot,
then go behind
and you will find
the spot
you have in mind."
She was very proud that she remembered all of the Witch's poem.
"That's the one," said Mr. Shermin.
"The what?" asked the empty pothead.
"The empty head that's gone to pot. You're the one the Witch told us to find and take back.
"Witch? You mean one of those old ladies that ride around on broomsticks? You've got to be kidding, man, you've got to be kidding. That's just too far out."
"Well, come along with us and take a look for yourself," suggested Mr. Shermin. "Just hop up on top of the car. We'll take you places you've never dreamed of."
So the empty pothead left his icicle and hopped on the VW, and they all went riding back to where they came from.
Chapter 5
Illustrations from
The Lizard of Oz
Links to the
rest of The Lizard of Oz and related materials
To correspond with the author, send email to seltzer@samizdat.com
Five children's
books by Richard Seltzer: The Lizard of Oz (illustrated by Christin
Couture), Now and Then and Other Tales from Ome (illustrated by Richard
Seltzer), See You Later, Elevator, Hundreds and Hundreds of Gerbils, and
Tiger in the Intercom. All are presented in both HTML text and audio form
(read by the author). Review of this book CD http://www.largeprintreviews.com/lizard.html
The
Lizard of Oz by Richard Seltzer. When an elementary class sets
out on a quest to save the world from disenchantment, their adventures
reveal paradoxes of the human mind and ways of awakening the magic within
us.
Library Journal -- "An intriguing and very entertaining little novel."
Paperback. Autographed on request.
Everything
But the Internet gathers the complete non-Internet
works of Richard Seltzer on CD, in plain text, with software that lets
you listen as well as read. It includes: The Name of Hero, Ethiopia Through
Russian Eyes, The Lizard of Oz, Without a Myth, Spit and Polish, Mercy,
Rights Crossing, short stories, articles, book reviews, and poems.
A
library for the price of a book.
Readers' Room and Writers'
Showcase
Return to B&R Samizdat Express.
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