CHAPTER EIGHT: BIG MACK
Miss Morgan was sure that all she had to do to get back to Winthrop was to do everything in reverse. So she backed up and once again fell into a pothole. But this time the VW started flying up, like it was on an elevator.
Miss Morgan was sure that meant they were heading back to Winthrop this time. She was very proud that she had learned so much about the world that she didn't have to ask Mr Shermin which way to go. "Yes," she thought, "Miss Prysby is right -- travel is very educational".
"Donny," chided Miss Prysby, "how many times do I have to tell you? Don't lean out the window. Gaynell, don't..".
Just then Gaynell tumbled onto Miss Morgan's lap, the wheel turned, the car lurched, and suddenly they were lost in another land. It was dark and smoggy. There was water on the ground, and the air tasted awful.
"This place is spooky," whispered Gaynell.
"I want to go home," murmured Peter.
Donny was the first to step outside the car. "Gosh," he said, "this must be the Underworld -- just like in that book, The Oddest Sea".
A deep voice boomed from the nearby shadows, "What's going on here?"
"Nothing, sir, really," answered Miss Morgan. "We're just trying to get home to Winthrop".
"Well, what are you doing in my sewer?" the huge shadowy figure took several steps closer, splashing hard in the puddles.
"This is the Underworld, isn't it?" asked Donny. "Are you Achilles the Heel?"
"No, I never heard of the guy. I'm Mack the Knife -- Big Mack to you, kid".
"He sure is big," whispered Kathy.
"Even bigger than that bacon back there," Gaynell answered softly.
"Pipe down over there!" Mack yelled at the girls. "Now you," he said, glaring at Donny. "What's this you know about the Underworld?"
"Well, there's a ferryboat and a three-headed dog and a courtroom where they give out goodies".
"Courtroom?" asked Mack.
"Yes, the good guys get the goodies, and the bad guys get spanked and..".
"What are you driving at, kid?"
"Well, that's the way it is in the Underworld," Donny insisted bravely.
"And how do you get to this Underworld you're talking about?"
"Most people get there by dying, I think".
"Well, you get here by trying to stay alive. And that's not easy kid, believe me".
"Gosh," admitted Donny, "then this can't be the real Underworld".
"It's real, all right. This knife here isn't make-believe, kid. And these scars aren't, either. And we've seen plenty of dead people around here. But I don't mess around with three-headed dogs. And I've never heard of any thug named 'Achilles the Heel.' Are you with some gang, kid? Did somebody tell you to tell me that? Are you talking some kind of code, kid? "
As Mack glared down at Donny, Paul Newman stepped between them. "Look, Mack, don't pick on the kid".
"And who do you think you are, buster?"
"Well, man, that's a tough question. You see, they call me Newman, Paul Newman. But I'm not sure who that is, I mean, who I am yet".
"What the..".
Miss Prysby, too, stepped up and added nervously, "Oh, pardon Paul. He means no harm. And Donny, too. They've just been reading a lot lately, and they're very suggestible. But we really do need your help, sir".
"Yes," said Miss Morgan, quickly joining them, "you see, Mr Mack, we're a class on our way home from a field trip to Oz and to Ome, and we've lost our way. And we'd greatly appreciate it if you could show us the way back to Winthrop".
"Lost? Have things gotten that bad up there? You mean, you can't tell the difference between the sewer and the street? And who are these other guys?"
"Gosh, it's the Redcoats!" exclaimed Donny.
Indeed, the Redcoats were splashing steadily toward them out of the gloom.
"The what?" asked Mack
"The Redcoats," explained Miss Morgan. "We met them before. They've been lost for two hundred years. Now, I guess, we're just as lost as they are".
The Sergeant, too, stepped up to Mack. "Pardon me, sir; but could ye tell me 'ow to get 'ome from 'ere?"
"Okay, buddy, okay. This is getting ridiculous. You've got no business down here. Just because your world's falling apart doesn't give you the right to come barging in on mine. It may be a filthy sewer, and I may hate it; but I'm not about to share it with anybody. Turf's turf, and this is my turf. Go look for your home or your Ome someplace else.
"But, Mr Mack," pleaded Miss Morgan, "how can we get out of here?"
"Right up this pipe. Just follow me. And no snooping along the way".
So Mack the Knife led the class and the redcoats through the slushy murky mess that was the Underworld.
"Paul," whispered Miss Prysby as they followed Mack in the VW, "I can't say this is exactly my idea of a field trip. There's nothing very educational about driving through a sewer pipe".
"Yeah, man. This is sure some pipe dream".
Soon they found themselves in a town that looked very much like Winthrop: the same kinds of hamburger stands and gas stations and ice cream shops.
By now, Miss Morgan couldn't hear Mr Shermin, and Mr Shermin was sure that she was disenchanted. So Mr Shermin flipped his magic coin with this flipper and told Eugene which way to go, and Eugene told Miss Morgan. She still thought it was silly to try to find your way by flipping a coin, but she followed the directions anyway, because she was sure they'd soon come across a street she knew -- everything looked so familiar. So off they went through the unmarked streets, with the Redcoats running hopefully behind.
