CHAPTER FOURTEEN: CAMELOT
They spent the night there in the El Easy One Fields. Mr Heel entertained them with tales of the Trojan Rockinghorse and his victories in the Olympic games, and Miss Troy told about the beauty contests she had won. They sounded sad talking about the past: like all they really wanted out of death was to do what they had done in life all over again, and they couldn't.
"How could you be so cruel?" Miss Morgan asked Judge Minus the next morning. "Mr Sissyfoot, Mrs Tantrum, and Mr Heel are all miserable, each in their own way. How could you do that to them?"
"But it's they who condemned themselves. We gave them the chance -- trial and error. They tried and they failed, but they never knew they failed. Whether in life or death, they just kept making the same error over and over again and didn't try to move beyond it".
"But how could they move beyond? How could they know what to do or where to go any more than we do? There are no signs".
"No signs? Of course, there are signs, at least down here there are. Minus, plus and equals".
"What?"
"Just lesson. Lesson carefully".
"Hey, yeah, just listen to that!" said Joey.
"What?" asked Mr Heel. "I don't hear a thing but that infernal music".
"No, mister. This is music, too, but it's different," insisted Joey. "Come on guys! I hear a merry-go-round. I'll race you there".
Joey went running up a nearby hill, and the kids chased after him. Miss Morgan, Miss Prysby, Mr Newman, Mr Carroll, and Cindy, who had to be very careful carrying the fishbowl, rode in the VW. And the Redcoats marched along behind.
Indeed, from the top of the hill, off in the distance, they could see a merry- go-round.
"That's the Merry-Go-Round Table," explained Mr Carroll. "We must be in Camelot".
"Hey, far out, man," said Mr Newman. "Just like in the book -- The Knights of the Merry-Go-Round Table".
The knights were riding round and round on the merry-go-round horses. Some were facing forward and others backward. They were all playing chess with one another. Mr Carroll introduced them, "There's King Arthur and Sir Percival and Sir Galahad and St. George and Sir Bedivere and Sir Tristram and Sir Kay and Sir Gareth and Sir Gawain and Sir Murray and Sir Prize and Sir Ridesalot and Sir Lancelot".
"Gosh," said Donny, "they're as crowded as we are".
King Arthur asked, "Who are these young knights that have come to grace our court?"
"The Knights of the Little Green VW," answered Mr Carroll.
And St. George asked, "Where are you going?"
"Home, St. George," said Miss Morgan.
"'Ome, St. George," said the Redcoat Sergeant.
"Do you know the way?" asked St. George.
"We were told by a prince, I mean a frog, that we had passed a way". answered Miss Morgan.
"Well, I sincerely hope that you can find it again. I always thought that there was only one true way -- a long straight and narrow path, much too narrow for a VW, just wide enough to walk down single file. But the times are changing, and maybe somebody's made new inroads and outroads".
"We drove in through a pothole -- a big hole in the pavement," she noted.
"Yes, things really have changed up there. Why in my day, there were no pavements -- just grass and trees for miles and miles".
"And while we were flying down the pothole, a witch told us the witch way to Oz and Ome," she added.
"Do you believe in witches?" St. George asked her.
"Well, I never did before; but the way this field trip has been going, I don't know what to believe".
"You shouldn't believe them," he advised. "They're not to be trusted. They'll give you what you ask for, but they won't tell you the dangers or give you anything to defend yourself with; and you'll wind up wishing you'd never asked for it".
"I was just taking them to the next underworld," said Mr Carroll. "I think they're so far lost that only the muses can show them the way out to Ome or Home".
"Well, while you're here, I'd better give you some pointers on dragon fighting".
"Dragon fighting?" asked Mark. "Couldn't we have chess lessons instead?"
"I could teach you that," answered Sir Murray. "Come on over here," he told Mark. "I'll teach you the dragon defense".
"Dragons? Dragons? What do dragons have to do with anything?" insisted Miss Morgan.
"Well," explained King Arthur, "you're going to need to know dragon fighting to get where you're going. Of course, you could simply rely on trial and error, but I suggest you get whatever lessons you can".
"But what does dragon fighting have to do with getting home?" asked Miss Morgan.
St. George answered, "In the midst of Oz lives the Great Dragon of Ome, the famous fire-breathing Lizard of Oz, the Leaping Lizard himself".
Mr Newman whispered, "Hey, Miss Prysby, what's this bit about dragon fighting. You never said anything about dragon fighting".
"Why, of course not, Paul. None of us wants to fight dragons. We just want to go home. But we'd better listen. It isn't every day you get a chance to learn about dragon fighting from St. George himself".
Everybody got very quiet and listened to St. George as he showed them the upper cut, the back stroke, the breast stroke, the stroke of luck, and the stroke of genius. The other knights helped, too, playing dragon and correcting their moves, as the kids practiced again and again.
Miss Morgan didn't know what to think. Mr Shermin had never mentioned anything about the Lizard being dangerous, and she still hoped to go home instead of to Ome; but just to be safe, she borrowed a pad of paper from a court scribe and took careful notes on everything St. George said.
