CHAPTER TWELVE: THE LOWEST COURT

The next morning they were all awakened by a loud voice, "Hear ye! Hear ye! Order in the court! Order in the court!" A tall man in a black robe came marching by, pounding on the ground with a staff and shouting these commands.

"Gosh," said Donny, "the judges are coming".

"Who's that doing the talking, Donny?" asked Mark.

"Oh, that must be the quirk".

"The what?"

"The quirk of the court".

"No," said Miss Prysby. "don't be silly, Donny. You mean 'clerk', not quirk. A quirk is an idiosyncrasy".

"Oh, yeah," said Mark, "video, like TV, like those trials they have on TV -- a quirk's a videosyncrasy".

"No," said Donny, "a quirk's just a quirk. Courts always have lots of quirks, to keep records and make announcements and stuff".

"Oh," said Mark.

"Hear ye! Hear ye!" announced the Quirk. "The court of final judgment is in session. Judge Plus, Judge Equals and Judge Minus presiding".

Three men followed him. They were all bald, with long gray curly beards, and they were all wearing long black robes, each with a big white symbol on the front -- plus, equals and minus.

"Mr Minus," called Donny. "Mr Minus..".

"Quiet in the court!" ordered the Quirk. "Quiet!"

"That's all right, Quirk," said Mr Minus. "Let the children come forward. And the grownups, too".

"Is this where the good guys get goodies and the bad guys get punished?" asked Donny.

"That's the general idea, son. We try to right the wrongs of the world".

"I'm sure this is all very educational, sir," said Miss Morgan. "But we're lost, very lost and we're trying to find our way home to Winthrop".

"And how far is this home of yours from here?"

"It's hard to judge," said Miss Morgan. "We've been gone for more than a day now".

"Now let's start at the beginning. If this home of yours is so important, why did you leave it?"

"Well, you see, we were trying to get to Oz and to Ome to find the Lizard of Oz, in hopes of saving the world from disenchantment".

"Yes, indeed, you tried. I might have thought as much. That's how you got here -- by trying very hard".

Eugene said, "Sometimes Miss Prysby says we're very trying".

"Yes, indeed. I'm sure you all helped. Not many cases reach the court of last judgment".

"Stop! Will you please stop!" shouted Miss Morgan. "I've had enough of this nonsense. Doesn't anyone here speak plain English? I just want to go home".

"We just want to go 'ome," echoed the Redcoat Sergeant.

"To get home or Ome -- either way you'll have to try," insisted the Judge.

"Yes, there's no stopping now, Miss Morgan," agreed Miss Prysby. "We couldn't possibly turn back. We don't even know where 'back' is. And besides," she added, "this trip is really very educational".

"That's the spirit, young lady," added Judge Minus. "Keep trying".

"But we keep making mistakes," objected Miss Morgan.

"Trial and error, that's how we learn. This is the trial. Next comes the error".

"Now don't tell me there's a Mr Error just waiting to come marching in," moaned Miss Morgan.

"Yes, I can just imagine," suggested Miss Prysby. "Error Flynn will come swinging by on a rope with a sword in his hand. That's the way things happen here, isn't it? I just love these crazy lands we've been stumbling into".

"No, miss," Judge Minus corrected her. "I was thinking of the various condemned persons you're likely to meet near here".

"You mean, Mack the Knife?" asked Miss Morgan, nervously.

"No, I can't say I've ever heard of him. I was thinking of Mr Sissyfoot, Mrs Tantrum, and Achilles Heel".