Everything but the Internet --

novels, children's books, articles, criticism, short stories, plays, poems and book reviews by Richard Seltzer, seltzer@samizdat.com www.samizdat.com

Richard's collected non-Internet works (listed below) are available on CD ROM as Everything but the Internet: Fiction, Plays, and Articles by Richard Seltzer, available from Amazon and from his online store http://store.yahoo.com/samizdat. There you can also buy "a library for the price of a book" (hundreds of classic books on a single CD).

Heavenly Gossip, a short story, written Feb.-July, 2009

The Choice, a short story, written April 2009

Chiang Ti's World and Other Fables:

• Chiang ti
• Creation Story
• Revolution
• The Mirror
• The Gentle Inquisitor
• The Choice

The Barracks and Other Stories:

• The Barracks
• Hands
• Vienna, Pension Barbara
• Saint Smith
• Size Matters
• Yanni

Hundreds and Hundreds of Gerbils and Other Stories:

• Tiger in the Intercom
• Hundreds & Hundreds of Gerbils
• See You Later, Elevator

Now and Then and Other Tales from Ome

• Now & Then
• Julie's Book: the Little Princess
• Mary Jane's Book: the Book of Animals
• The Little Oops Named Ker Plop

• The Lizard of Oz
• Now and Then and Other Tales from Ome
• Tiger in the Intercom
• See You Later, Elevator
• Hundreds and Hundreds of Gerbils

Poems

Miscellaneous poems

The Nostalgia of Tomorrowland and Other Essays

• "The Nostalgia of Tomorrowland"
• "Why Bother to Save Halloween" plus lots of reactions from readers
• "Global Competition and the Long Road to General Prosperity"
• "Asthma in Timisoara: a Glimpse at the Romanian Medical System" (from 1988)
• "Romantic Romania? Be Sure to Bring Your Own Meat, Medicine and Toilet Paper" (from 1988, before the revolution)
• "The Serge Solovieff mystery: a WWI variant of the Spanish Prisoner" scam by Richard Seltzer
• "From Russia to Ethiopia to the Internet" by Richard Seltzer
• The Lizard of Oz -- Adventures in Self-Publishing
• Food for Thought excerpts from works alluded to in The Lizard of Oz
• The Death of the Federalist Party

Genealogy

• Ancestor Surfing
• The Abraham Effect

Essays on the Implications of Electronic Publishing

• Rethinking "books" and "ebooks" -- stating the obvious (which often seems to be ignored.)
• The Internet and books -- transformation of an industry
• Dialogue about the implications of epublishing and print on demand for authors and publishers
• Let books grow -- implications of electronic books and print on demand
• Further thoughts about the Internet and books
• Many of today's "online publishers" are really just "online printers"
• Alternative to ISBN for electronic books?
• Advice for authors about electronic opportunities
• Who owns what? (chapter 4 from The Social Web)
• Suggested Tactics for Building an Electronic Library
• An Author's View of Electronic Rights and the Public Domain
• The Public Domain and the World Wide Web -- Keep the Frontier Open

Books and articles by and about Alexander Bulatovich (Father Anthony Boulatovich) and related research

• Translator's Introduction
• From Entotto to the River Baro (complete book, 400 Kbytes)
• With the Armies of Menelik II . (complete book, 600 Kbyes)
• Review of Ethiopia through Russian Eyes, which appeared in African Studies Review
• Review of Ethiopia through Russian Eyes, which appeared in The Journal of African History

• "Alternatives to Academic Publishers" by Richard Seltzer
• London Times articles about Bulatovich (1913)
• "A.X. Bulatovich -- Hussar, Explorer, Monk" by I.S. Katsnelson
• Confidential letter from B. Chemerzin, Charge D'affaires of the Russian Embassy in Ethiopia to A. A. Neratov, Russian Minister of Foreign Affairs -- December 15, 1911
• Email from the great-great grandson of Emperor Menelik II, and news of the fate of Vaska

• "Hunting Man and Beast in Ethiopia" (excerpt)
• "Even Elephants Pray" (excerpt)

The Name of Hero

• Chapter 1 Railroads and religion
• Chapter 2 Facts and Faith
• Chapter 3 Love, Death, Life, and Other Minor Matters
• Chapter 4 Between Proving and Believing
• Chapter 5 Naming Names
• Chapter 6 First Lessons in Love
• Chapter 7 Hailar Taken Twice
• Chapter 8 To Believe or Not to Believe
• Chapter 9 Cross-Purposes
• Chapter 10 Chinese Sonya
• Chapter 11 A Clash of Cultures
• Chapter 12 The Sour Taste of Revenge
• Chapter 13 A Day of Triumph
• Chapter 14 For Mine is the Kingdom
• Chapter 15 The Knight Errant
• Chapter 16 Luck Runs Out
• Chapter 17 A Message for Strakhov
• Chapter 18 The Not-so-Tender Touch of Death
• Afterword

"From Russia to Ethiopia to the Internet" by Richard Seltzer

Heresy on Mount Athos: Conflict over the Name of God among Russian Monks and Hierarchs, 1912-14 by Tom Dykstra, same as above, as an Acrobat (.pdf) file. You can contact the author at dykstra@u.washington.edu, His Web site is http://students.washington.edu/dykstra

Letters from Princess Mary Orbeliani (sister of Alexander Bulatovich) to Richard Seltzer (author of The Name of Hero)

Timeline for Alexander Bulatovich from 1870 until he became a monk in 1907, with excerpts from his military record
 

The Name of Man

• Pilgrims
• How not to Advance a Military Career
• Vaska's Dilemma
• Name Day
• Love, Conception, and Birth
• Arms and the Bicycle
• Meeting at Kronstadt

Sandcastles

• Charlies, the uncle, is a charismatic, self-taught filmmaker.
• Irene, his wife, is brillliant, uninhibited, a mistress of the unexpected, a mathematician and spinner of mystic tales.
• Frank, the nephew, is a novelist, who feeds on the stories of others.
• Marge, a would-be psychologist, is obsessed with memory and its relationship to dreams.

The Lizard of Oz

Library Journal -- "An intriguing and very entertaining little novel"

Aspect -- "Carroll and Tolkien have a new companion"

Lancaster (PA) Independent Press -- "a work so saturated that the mind is both stoned with pleasure and alive with wonder"

Philadelphia Bulletin -- "A commentary on our times done delightfully"

Audio-book version of The Lizard of Oz (complete text, plus illustrations by Christin Couture and audio narration by the author). To hear the audio, you must have the RealPlayer. This is a new, expanded version of the underground classic, originally published in 1974. This edition (which includes new episodes and changes throughout) is not available in print. You can buy the audio-book version of this book plus Now and Then and Other Tales from Ome, See You Later Elevator, Hundreds and Hundreds of Gerbils, and Tiger in the Intercom on CD ROM for $19 at our online store http://store.yahoo.com/samizdat  You can also buy a paperback of the first edition there.

If you would rather read The Lizard on your palm device, for $5 you can buy an 84K zip file with the full text at www.palmgear.com  To read that file you need iSilo (software available for from www.isilo.com). (Thanks very much to David Gilford for doing this.) 

Text-only version of of the second (expanded) edition of The Lizard of Oz:

• Chapter 1 The Humbug
• Chapter 2 The Redcoats
• Chapter 3 The Pothole
• Chapter 4 Pothead Land
• Chapter 5 Sir Real
• Chapter 6 Egghead Land
• Chapter 7 The Library
• Chapter 8 Big Mack
• Chapter 9 Prince Frog
• Chapter 10 The River
• Chapter 11 The Underworld
• Chapter 12 The Lowest Court [a new chapter, added after the first edition]
• Chapter 13 The Road to El Easy One [a new chapter, added after the first edition]
• Chapter 14 Camelot
• Chapter 15 The Mothers of Fact
• Chapter 16 The Muses
• Chapter 17 Cloud Nine
• Chapter 18 Mr. Shermin
• Chapter 19 Review of the Troops
• Chapter 20 Redland
• Chapter 21The Moors
• Chapter 22 Miss Morgan's Dream
• Chapter 23 The Mouth of the Nile
• Chapter 24 Captain Ahab
• Chapter 25 Nature and Science
• Chapter 26 The Great Dragon of Ome
• Chapter 27 Winthrop
• Postscript to the Lizard of Oz ,
• Food for Thought excerpts from works alluded to
• Reader reactions to the Lizard, and responses from the author Send email to seltzer@samizdat.com to submit your comments and questions.
• Illustrations -- To see the illustrations by Christin Couture, click here. Badges with these illustrations can be made on demand (using Badge-a-Minit). These 2-1/2" diameter badges, made from black and white line drawings, sell for $1 each plus $1 per order for shipping (first class mail). To order, send email to seltzer@samizdat.com
• Other works by Christin Couture. Information on The House on the Hill and A Walk in the Woods, other books written and illustrated by the artist who illustrated The Lizard of Oz.
• Christin Couture's Lo Lotterio site
• Radio anyone? -- There's also a radio script for the Lizard which has never been produced. Please send us email if you have suggestions regarding radio/audio production possibilities. (We'd love to be able to make this available in RealAudio format.)
• The self-publishing story "The Lizard of Oz -- Adventures in Small-Press Publishing" by Richard Seltzer

The children's play version of THE LIZARD OF OZ

"1101. K-12 (+) Seltzer, Richard, The Lizard of Oz. CAST: 6f, 14m, u. ACTS: 1. SETTINGS: Bare stage. PLAYING TIME: 50 min. PLOT: Two fish, in a fishbowl in a basement classroom, remark on the boredom of the students. One of the fish, Mr. Shermin, explains to the other, Mrs. O'Rourke, that the boredom is caused by the Humbug's tune, which can only be changed by the Lizard of Oz. One of the children Eugene, overhears the conversation and conspires with the fish to travel to Oz in a little green VW with several classmates. On the way, the car falls into a pothole, and encounters a witch who gives them directions. They meet the potheads, people with pots for heads, who help them with more water for the fishbowl. The witch reappears at various times, and the group meets Sir Real, who has a cereal bowl for a head; eggheads, including Humpty Dumpty; a wallflower; an empty-headed pothead with blue eyes (Mr New Man); Mr. Francis Bacon, the librarian; Mr. Charon, the ferryboatman/undertaker; Lewis Carroll; William Shakespeare; Mark Twain; and Plato and the Muses. Mrs. O'Rourke swims off and Mr. Shermin becomes a human teacher. The gang reaches Oz and a bevy of further odd characters and returns to the classroom, refreshed, and with a new teacher, Mr. Shermin. RECOMMENDATION: The adventures and the characters are out of Alice in Wonderland, but the overall effect is comic and interesting."

The full text of the play, as an HTML file is available here. You can also get it as a pdf file (with all the illustrations embedded). You can buy this playscript at our online store http://store.yahoo.com/samizdat

Without a Myth (or Amythos) -- a stage play

This play has not yet been been published in paper form. It will be produced for the first time by High Impact Theater at the Met Performing Arts Center in Spokane, Washington, in the spring of 2000. They first found the play at this site. If you have any suggestions on how we could get this produced elsewhere, please let us know.
 

Mercy (a stage play)

Both Burgoyne and Mercy Warren were playwrights. After the Revolution, Burgoyne wrote several "hit" plays for the London stage. In 1775, during the British occupation of Boston, he wrote The Blockade of Boston. Mercy replied with a play entitled The Blockheads.

These two historical figures are natural antagonists who should be made to meet on the stage.

(If you have any suggestions on how we could get this produced, please let us know.)

Mercy Warren home page, where we are posting her history of the American Revolution and her plays
 

Rights Crossing (a stage play)

The action focuses on the strategic importance of the ferry crossing that would one day become Columbia; situated between Congress in York and the army in Valley Forge. The fates of the town-to-be and the nation-to-be are interwoven, with local historical figures playing significant roles in a plausible confrontation with Conway and Mifflin.

Conway, plotting to overthrow Washington, tries to seize the ferry. But he underestimates the determination and resourcefulness of old Susannah Wright, the owner of the ferry, and her nephew Sam, the future founder of the town of Columbia.

(If you have any suggestions on how we could get this produced, please let us know.)
 

Spit and Polish (a full-length screen play)

Acrobat (.pdf) version of Spit an Polish, in standard movie-script format

Spit and Polish (AKA "The Barracks", AKA "The Summer of Our Discontent") has never been produced nor published. The setting is basic training at Fort Polk, Louisiana, in the summer of 1970 ( just after the invasion of Cambodia and the Kent State shootings). The trainees are reservists, national guardsmen, and four black draftees who have been "recycled." The draftees want nothing to do with the war. They have been through basic before and deliberately failed in order to postpone being shipped to Viet Nam. For the others, basic is a brief, but painful interruption in their normal lives. So long as there is no major foul-up, they'll return to their school or job in a few weeks. But the disappearance of one of the blacks threatens them all.

(If you have any suggestions on how we could get this produced, please let us know.)
 

Traffic Jam (a short screen play)

An ordinary ride down a crowded superhighway becomes surreal when the drivers realize that htey have no control over their vehicles. (10 pp.)

Dryden's Exemplary Drama and Other Essays in Criticism --

• Dryden's Exemplary Drama
• Another look at Moliere's l'Avare
• Filial Respect in Confucius and Socrates and the divergence of Western and Chinese Philosophic Traditions
• Mercy Warren: Conscience of the American Revolution a review of "The Rise, Progress and Termination of the American Revolution"
• Making sense of the myths behind Greek tragedy, in particular the mythos of Pelops/Atreus/Agamemnon

Book reviews

Lists of books read by Richard Seltzer

• Complete list, alphabetical by author
• Chronological lists --2009, 2008,2007,2006,2005,2004,2003, 2002, 2001, 2000, 1999, 1998,1997, 1996, 1995, 1994, 1993, 1992, 1991, 1990, 1989, 1988, 1987, 1986, 1985, 1984, 1983, 1982, 1981, 1980, 1979, 1978, 1977, 1976, 1975, 1974,1973, 1972, 1971, 1970, 1969, 1968, 1967, 1966, 1965, 1964, 1963, 1962, 1961,1960, 1958-59
• Year-by-year score
• Books I want to read next
• Books begun, but never finished

• Dikkon Eberhart

• Joseph Heller -- Richard Seltzer

For a library for the price of a book, visit our online store http://store.yahoo.com/samizdat.

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